-Tearin' Down the Walls...
Well, the house is a wreck. But it is a good wreck.
I bought this house almost 6 years ago, with the woman I thought would be my "life partner". Turns out I was wrong. After her mother died, she became somewhat aloof, keeping to herself. I thought it was depression, and made efforts to keep her cheered. They didn't work. After about 6 months, she announced that she and Danny (her teenaged son from a previous marriage) were moving out. She said she couldn't handle being in a relationship any more. Needless to say, I was a bit stunned. She moved out, and in with a girl friend of hers, who also had a teenaged son. In order to try and understand what was going on, I did a bit of research, and found out that this behavior was not uncommon in people who lost someone near to them. They push away all others, so as not to have to suffer such grief again. I was a bit surprised to learn of this, but it explained things. Or should have... I eventually learned the truth. It turns out that Robin left because she'd been having an affair with this woman for quite some time, and decided that they needed to be together. I never admitted it to myself, nor even realized it, but I had sank into a depression of my own. I didn't hang out with my friends, or go out, or do much of anything. I would come home from work and hang out in the house, alone.
Robin and her "girlfriend" just moved to Utah, with their sons (good riddance, as far as I am concerned) but left a metric ton of, what can only be described as, crap in my house. I'd let it sit here for over a year, partially because I expected her to come crawling back, and partially because I just didn't care.
Well, my friend Tanis just got out of the Army, and with his wife and young son, moved back to Gainesville. They were staying, temporarily, with some other friends, but needed to set up something a little more stable. The housing market is a bit stiff here, and they didn't have much luck, so, against my better judgement, I said I'd allow them to move in with me. I'd been paying the bills by myself, so I didn't really need much in the way of rent. The only real inconvenience comes in learning to live with others again. Especially their 5 year old son. It is not that he is a horrible kid. He's actually a great kid. He is just your average 5 year old, filled with 5 year old angst, energy, enthusiasm, curiousity, and plain old stubborn-headedness. I'm just not used to having one around. It is going to take some getting used to.
The upside is that Tanis has come in like a little whirlwind. He and his wife have pretty much stripped this house down to bare walls and floors, and are starting over. He has big plans. He says that he's always wanted to remodel my house, and now, I guess, he has his chance. They have made several hauls to the dump, dropping off an enormous load of crap. The carpet has been ripped up, revealing beautiful hardwood floors underneath, and plans are underway to make many changes.
How do I feel about all of this? Pretty good, actually. Every day when I come home from work, I walk into a new shock. One day, the furniture is gone. The next, the carpet. Today, light fixtures have been changed. I wonder what tomorrow will bring? My world has been turned upside down, but it needed to be. He is making some radical changes, but they are all good. Good for the house. Good for me. Basically, these are all things that I was going to get around to, when I had the time. I really just haven't had the time, so they never got done.
Robin's presence has pretty much been all but erased, and my home is getting a much needed facelift. And I am getting dear friends as roommates, ones that have brought me around. Well, they are bringing me around, anyway. I didn't realize how much I needed the company.
I bought this house almost 6 years ago, with the woman I thought would be my "life partner". Turns out I was wrong. After her mother died, she became somewhat aloof, keeping to herself. I thought it was depression, and made efforts to keep her cheered. They didn't work. After about 6 months, she announced that she and Danny (her teenaged son from a previous marriage) were moving out. She said she couldn't handle being in a relationship any more. Needless to say, I was a bit stunned. She moved out, and in with a girl friend of hers, who also had a teenaged son. In order to try and understand what was going on, I did a bit of research, and found out that this behavior was not uncommon in people who lost someone near to them. They push away all others, so as not to have to suffer such grief again. I was a bit surprised to learn of this, but it explained things. Or should have... I eventually learned the truth. It turns out that Robin left because she'd been having an affair with this woman for quite some time, and decided that they needed to be together. I never admitted it to myself, nor even realized it, but I had sank into a depression of my own. I didn't hang out with my friends, or go out, or do much of anything. I would come home from work and hang out in the house, alone.
Robin and her "girlfriend" just moved to Utah, with their sons (good riddance, as far as I am concerned) but left a metric ton of, what can only be described as, crap in my house. I'd let it sit here for over a year, partially because I expected her to come crawling back, and partially because I just didn't care.
Well, my friend Tanis just got out of the Army, and with his wife and young son, moved back to Gainesville. They were staying, temporarily, with some other friends, but needed to set up something a little more stable. The housing market is a bit stiff here, and they didn't have much luck, so, against my better judgement, I said I'd allow them to move in with me. I'd been paying the bills by myself, so I didn't really need much in the way of rent. The only real inconvenience comes in learning to live with others again. Especially their 5 year old son. It is not that he is a horrible kid. He's actually a great kid. He is just your average 5 year old, filled with 5 year old angst, energy, enthusiasm, curiousity, and plain old stubborn-headedness. I'm just not used to having one around. It is going to take some getting used to.
The upside is that Tanis has come in like a little whirlwind. He and his wife have pretty much stripped this house down to bare walls and floors, and are starting over. He has big plans. He says that he's always wanted to remodel my house, and now, I guess, he has his chance. They have made several hauls to the dump, dropping off an enormous load of crap. The carpet has been ripped up, revealing beautiful hardwood floors underneath, and plans are underway to make many changes.
How do I feel about all of this? Pretty good, actually. Every day when I come home from work, I walk into a new shock. One day, the furniture is gone. The next, the carpet. Today, light fixtures have been changed. I wonder what tomorrow will bring? My world has been turned upside down, but it needed to be. He is making some radical changes, but they are all good. Good for the house. Good for me. Basically, these are all things that I was going to get around to, when I had the time. I really just haven't had the time, so they never got done.
Robin's presence has pretty much been all but erased, and my home is getting a much needed facelift. And I am getting dear friends as roommates, ones that have brought me around. Well, they are bringing me around, anyway. I didn't realize how much I needed the company.
posted by Turtle at 10:07 PM
1 Comments:
Tanis & Brekke are here in Trimaris for good?????!!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!!!! I'm doing the happy dance. I just wish I looked a little less like Snoopy when I do the happy dance.... oh well. I'm still doin' the happy dance!
Dulcia
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