What's love got to do, got to do with it?
Okay, a comment made about a previous post, and some recent remarks have gotten me thinking. That being said, let's get ready to rammmmmble! Like most of my other posts, this shall be a murky mire, filled with quicksand, but fear not, as it is only knee deep, causing only momentary panic, ending in euphoria and slight embarrassment....
Love.... What the hell is it? I'm certainly no expert in the field, judging from my past experiences. Is it a spiritual state? An emotional existance? A chemical imbalance? Who knows. What a bizarre concept. We're talking about a concept that makes you feel great, happy, joyous, sad, miserable, and all points of the spectrum inbetween. It is a rollercoaster filled with hairpin turns, steep drops, and loop-de-loops, and yet we all long for the ride.
I don't believe that I am ready to jump into another romance right now. I may never be ready, to be honest, but then again, when are we ever? Are these things planned out and scheduled? Maybe on the grand cosmic scale of things, but certainly on no calendar I've ever seen. Maybe it'll happen. Maybe it won't. Maybe I'll just become a monk. Nah. The uniforms are itchy and the lifestyle's a bit too sedate for me. They do make good beer, though......
A friend has been not so gently nudging me lately. "Ask so and so out. You'd be great togther." "Why don't you ask that one out?" There are several answers... One, as stated above, I'm just not sure I'm ready. I know that dating doesn't have to be serious, but in a way, it does. Isn't that the whole point? Otherwise, it's just "hanging out with friends". Another big reason is that my confidence is pretty much shot. My self-esteem pretty much tumbled down along with it, as though attached by a tether... That doesn't really help, especially when I never really had "game" to start with. All that, and the fact that I just don't have a clue about women and the "signs". I'd been in a serious relationship for far too long, so I just don't pick up on these subtle clues any more. Is she interested? Was that eye contact? Wait... what's it mean when she scratches her earlobe.... Arggggghhhh!
This same friend also thinks I should just "play the field" and sew my wild oats. I think my oats mildewed long ago... Besides, let's back up to the previous paragraph. Same rules apply. Hello? I'm just not a "playah". Yes, I have a healthy libido, one that screams for attention, but you can not be what you are not. I'm just not a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy. I'm not saying you should married first, but for crying out loud, there should be some kind of mutual respect going, don't you think? Maybe not. Maybe it's just me. I'm not saying that those who do are morally bankrupt, but it's not my style.
And speaking of marriage... What is it about married couples? Why do they think that they need to set you up "with someone they know"...? Why can't they understand that being single is okay? Not a crime, y'know? Yeah, I get lonely at times. Yes, I am a bit envious of those with viable relationships, at times. But I'm doing all right by myself. Unless, of course, your friend happens to look like Dorothy Stratten, has a mega-rich daddy, owns a bar, a car dealership and a gas station, is a licensed massage therapist, likes football, and absolutely dotes upon her man, then I might be interested. Heck, I'm even willing to negotiate on the football thing.....
Well, I've rambled enough, and probably made little sense, but I warned you in the beginning. Wade out of the quicksand, and make your way to the vine strewn door. Thanks for coming. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
Love.... What the hell is it? I'm certainly no expert in the field, judging from my past experiences. Is it a spiritual state? An emotional existance? A chemical imbalance? Who knows. What a bizarre concept. We're talking about a concept that makes you feel great, happy, joyous, sad, miserable, and all points of the spectrum inbetween. It is a rollercoaster filled with hairpin turns, steep drops, and loop-de-loops, and yet we all long for the ride.
I don't believe that I am ready to jump into another romance right now. I may never be ready, to be honest, but then again, when are we ever? Are these things planned out and scheduled? Maybe on the grand cosmic scale of things, but certainly on no calendar I've ever seen. Maybe it'll happen. Maybe it won't. Maybe I'll just become a monk. Nah. The uniforms are itchy and the lifestyle's a bit too sedate for me. They do make good beer, though......
A friend has been not so gently nudging me lately. "Ask so and so out. You'd be great togther." "Why don't you ask that one out?" There are several answers... One, as stated above, I'm just not sure I'm ready. I know that dating doesn't have to be serious, but in a way, it does. Isn't that the whole point? Otherwise, it's just "hanging out with friends". Another big reason is that my confidence is pretty much shot. My self-esteem pretty much tumbled down along with it, as though attached by a tether... That doesn't really help, especially when I never really had "game" to start with. All that, and the fact that I just don't have a clue about women and the "signs". I'd been in a serious relationship for far too long, so I just don't pick up on these subtle clues any more. Is she interested? Was that eye contact? Wait... what's it mean when she scratches her earlobe.... Arggggghhhh!
This same friend also thinks I should just "play the field" and sew my wild oats. I think my oats mildewed long ago... Besides, let's back up to the previous paragraph. Same rules apply. Hello? I'm just not a "playah". Yes, I have a healthy libido, one that screams for attention, but you can not be what you are not. I'm just not a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy. I'm not saying you should married first, but for crying out loud, there should be some kind of mutual respect going, don't you think? Maybe not. Maybe it's just me. I'm not saying that those who do are morally bankrupt, but it's not my style.
And speaking of marriage... What is it about married couples? Why do they think that they need to set you up "with someone they know"...? Why can't they understand that being single is okay? Not a crime, y'know? Yeah, I get lonely at times. Yes, I am a bit envious of those with viable relationships, at times. But I'm doing all right by myself. Unless, of course, your friend happens to look like Dorothy Stratten, has a mega-rich daddy, owns a bar, a car dealership and a gas station, is a licensed massage therapist, likes football, and absolutely dotes upon her man, then I might be interested. Heck, I'm even willing to negotiate on the football thing.....
Well, I've rambled enough, and probably made little sense, but I warned you in the beginning. Wade out of the quicksand, and make your way to the vine strewn door. Thanks for coming. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
posted by Turtle at 1:55 PM
3 Comments:
Ah, the singleton's manifesto...I empathize. All your points are right on...plus this one: Wow, but it's *way* too much trouble to start "auditioning" dates again after a long relationship. Hang in there!
Are you sure that you really, really want the answers? I'll wade into the quicksand, eat the veal and tip well on my way out. I'll go off on that limb if you truly want the answers.
The ride to love is all those things that you address. But for the most part, true love is enduring and just becomes a part of us. In order to be able to truly experience it, you must totally let go. It's the hardest thing to do, since we all have these things that we cling to from our past experiences, and that hold us back from truly loving like building a wall instead of windows.
Sometimes it just sneaks up on us, and we acknowledge it's existance. We can say that we love, and it is okay. It becomes just a part of us.
Only you can set aside the ties that bind you from loving. Is it easy? The answer is no. Does it take time? That answer is yes. It requires a shift within yourself that only you can choose to make.
Take your time. Be friends, make friends. Things can happen from the there. Friends are well meaning, they want nothing but the best for you. But only you can choose what that best is.
I think you are moving in the right direction to get beyond that last relationship. Your postings show a questing, a searching.
Also remember, those that want it the most don't get what they want. Those who are comfortable with themselves, will get what they need.
That will be the usual office visit charge, please make an appointment on the way out.
KA
Ah yes, the damned if you do, damned if you don't life of those who are single.
The "male" in my life is about 12" tall (about 24" tall with the tail up), about 20" long, has beautiful golden eyes and a wet apricot colored nose, and wears a tawny-orange and butterscotch colored striped fur jumpsuit all the time. There is no doubt in my mind about what he wants: breakfast, furry mice, other cat toys, my attention, my attention, my attention, soft places to sleep (especially in my bed or draped over me) and a bottomless bowl of feline crunchies. In return he follows me around the house, does a very good job of keeping me company, is always there when I come home, supervises my sewing projects (usually by laying on them while I'm trying to work), purrs constantly, hogs the bed, snuggles with me and snores, drools and sticks his whiskers in my face while I'm trying to sleep. No playacting. No games. A totally honest relationship. =)
D
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