Friday, February 17, 2006

You gotta gimme some lovin'

Okay, so that title is obscure, even for me... Following in my (mostly) usual mode of media inspired titles, this is the title of a song by an old band, Traffic. That being said, allow me to rant away on, you guessed it, Vice President Cheney. Just kidding! I'm talking about traffic here....

You've heard me rant away about the "Ad Van". I still think it is obnoxious. Wanna know the worst part? It drives around at night, as well, with flourescent lighting on the sides to light up the ads. Arrrrrrrrgh!

Cell phones. Yes, we've all been annoyed by that discourteous driver chatting on their cell. Hey, I admit, I've done it myself. I did get one of those "7 of 9" handsfree bluetooth thingies to help overcome that..... The other day, though, was the topper. Was out running errands with Roomie #1, and needed to make a left at an intersection. But we couldn't. Not because of any "no left turn" signs, but rather because there was a young lady parked in the middle of the intersection, talking on a cell phone. On a scooter. Yes, that's right, on a motor scooter. Hellllllllooooooo????? Pull over! Pull up on the sidewalk for crying out loud!! What the hell?? There, happy now, Roomie #1? Your scooter cell phone gal made the blog.

Then, on the same trip, there was the purple RV. Now, gaudy colors are by no means unusual on cars these days, and I suppose RV's are not exception, but we're talking purple! Not girlie little sportscar purple. We're talking throw Barnie into a blender with a couple gallons of Pepto Bismol purple. Yuch.

And what is it that Carlin says about driving? Anyone going faster than you is an asshole. Anyone going slower is an idiot. Well, my path has been strewn with idiots lately. Complete idiots. Not once, but three times yesterday, did I get behind a major idiot. Granted, one of them had a flat tire, but they didn't stop! They just drove very slowly..... Idiot!!! Then I got behind the minivan that did 20 in a 40mph zone. Now, this is a very winding little side street, with no passing, and is rather long, so my language got rather colorful toward the end. The 3rd pulled out in front of me, on a major street, and proceded to creep along. Traffic was heavy, so there was no pulling around. I even got to endure the honking of the guy behind me. Thanks. Thank you very much. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Where are the flying cars??? They promised me flying cars!! I wouldn't have to have these breakdowns if they just gave us the flying cars, like they promised!!! Ahhhhhhhh!

I just knew no good would come of those infernal internal combustion machines!

1 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

Could you just imagine trying to get the concept of 'stall speed' across to some of these land yacht driving, semi-living zombies? The countryside would be littered with thousands of piles of smoldering aircar debris, punctuated with burning blue hair and still flashing left turn signals.

3:57 PM  

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