The Year That Was....

So, this fine year is almost over. Can't say as I'd be upset to see it go. There were some good things, but a lot of bad, as well.

Dan Fogelberg left us. He left behind a legacy of music that few realize, and fewer appreciate. Ike Turner departed. (Bet Tina's still dancin'...) Evil Knievel jumped the great canyon of life. Dick Wilson died with little fanfare. Mr. Whipple should have had a bigger mourning. It was also a year in which we lost, in no particular order, Art Buchwald, Tom Snyder, Alice Ghostly, Charles Nelson Reilly, Don Ho, Kurt Vonnegut, Tom Poston, Beverly Sills, Jane Wyman, Luciano Pavarotti, Tommy Makem, Merv Griffin, Inmar Bergman, Marcel Marceau, Joey Bishop, Porter Wagner, Norman Mailer, Deborah Kerr, Robert Goulet and Yvonne DeCarlo. Lot of talent said goodbye.

It was a year in which Gainesville gained prominence by defeating Ohio State in two separate sports for the national championships in each. We lost Dr. Robert Cade, the inventor of Gatorade. We established a national phrase, because of a student's "douchebaggery". "Don't taze me, bro!" And Tim Tebow (Timmeeee!!!) made history, several times.

Elsewhere around the nation, weirdness ensued. Hip hop entertainer Jay-Z found himself in hot water, as his own personal line of clothing sends him to the doghouse, literally. Seems his faux fur is actually canine fur. Oops. And in a frightening tribute to Ratatouille this video clip shows hordes of rats running about a NYC KFC/Taco Bell location, after hours. Yikes.

But just so you don't think that it's just us, Australia proves it's just as strange. Their "toy of the year" got pulled from shelves. It consists of little beads that you can put together to form pictures. You spray it with water and the bead stick to each other. Only problem is that the beads turn in a form of the date-rape drup GHB when ingested. What's next, Roofie Me Elmo?

Then there was the funeral home in Scotland. Seems they routinely spread ashes on the sidewalk during winter, to keep the pedestrians from slipping on the ice. Ummm... I think I'd rather take the fall...

There was lots of other stuff going on, but I think I'll stop here and end this with seasons greetings. Happy holidays, folks. Merry Christmas, and happy whatever holiday you choose to enjoy. Let's hope 2008 brings better cheer.

Wow. Just.... wow.

So, I have to work late yesterday. It sucked, but not the point of this post. I took a break around 5 to run to the store to get some soda, as I was badly in need of caffeine, and was coffeed out.

I missed the green light to pull out of the business complex, as two police vehicles went roaring past, lights flashing, sirens screaming. I wait through the cycle and get my green, and made my way to the next intersection, where I had to wait for about 15 more cops to go screeching by. Seriously.

Something was obviously up, but what: Stupid Crooks.

Okay... I am not a master criminal. Or any kind, really, for that matter. But even I know that if you want to rob a bank you really need to show up when they're open....

At What Point...

...is it okay for me to be angry without being a Sore Loser?

I'll sum up (insert Inigo Montoya quote here): My office gives away cash bonuses at our annual holiday party. Not to everyone... They lump them together and "raffle" them out as large prizes. They give away four prizes of $2500, four of $5K, two of $10K and one of $50K. Pretty cool stuff.

Needless to say, I didn't win anything. It would have been nice, but I didn't really expect to. Not terribly disappointed. Terribly.

The person who did win the big prize in in my department. While I am glad for her, I just, kind of, wish it didn't go to the biggest bitch in the company. She tends to be a snotty little miss better-n-you at normal times. I've had to call her customers to get updates to the contracts I've been trying to process, but lacked info. Info that she should have had on there in the first place. And why do I call? Because it is part of my job? No. Because she didn't feel like it.

And now we've had to listen to her for the last couple of days, bragging and going on and on and on and on and on.... about her big win. How special she is. How awesome her Christmas is going to be and the great new car she is getting...

Y'know? You got lucky. Luckier than every one else. It doesn't make you a better person! Shut the hell up!! We really don't want to hear it! Congrats and all that, but shut your freakin' pie hole!! Enough already!

X-Mas Meme

Didja know the abbreviation "X-mas" started way back in the 13th century? At any rate, here is a holiday enema. Er, meme.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags are awesome for crappy wrappers, of which I am admittedly one. However, they also take away the fun of unwrapping. You open a bag. Ta. Da.

2. Real tree or Artificial? Actually, artificial. Real trees are such a nightmare to keep alive throughout the season.

3. When do you put up the tree? Don't really have a "time". It goes up when I get around to it. In fact, living by myself, I don't usually put one up at all.

4. When do you take the tree down? Same thing. When I get around to it. After New Year's.

5. Do you like egg nog? Eh. It's okay. I don't hate it, but won't go out of my way for it, either.

6. Favourite gift received as a child? Evil Knievel Stunt Van, baby!!

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Nope. Sheeps does. And all the characters, except for baby Hay-soos, are sheep. Naturally. Nuther bit o trivia - Animals in the manger are another 13th century invention. Bible says nuttin' about 'em.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Me. I'm a schmuck. I won't tell you what I want or need. That's not entirely true... I'll usually tell folks my needs, such as socks and new underoos, but I neveer get 'em. People must think I'm kidding....

9. Easiest person to buy for? Again, me. I am pretty much content with any gift, even socks and underwear...

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Neither. I'm horrible about that kind of stuff. I actually usually buy a box of cards, and leave it sit around without even opening the damen thing.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Can't really say. Probably something my sister D gave me. Her heart is in the right place, but sometimes her gifts make you stop and go "huh?"

12. Favorite Christmas movie? Christmas Story! "You'll put your eye out, kid!"

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Whenever. I shop for gifts year 'round.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Errrr. I don't think so?

15. Favourite thing to eat at Christmas? I dunno. Cookies?

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? I'm colorblind. What do you think?

17. Favourite Christmas song? Don't really have a fav. Truthfully, I'm a bit tired of carols. Sheeps has a beautiful voice, but standing around for hours on end, waiting for her to finish a gig, one gets kind of sick of them....

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Well, being that I have no family within 50 miles (even Sheeps lives 130 miles away...), travel is almost always required.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yes. Who can't?

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel. Does anyone actually use a star?

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Morning is just fine, thanks.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The commercialism. The lack of manners. The crowds.

23. Favourite ornament theme or colour? Blue. I see blue reeeeeal good! Unfortunately, everything is green and red, with, together, really screws with my vision.

24. Favorite thing for Christmas dinner? Yes. I love it all. What other meal, other thank TG, are you going to have 2-3 entrees, 20 sidedishes, 6 kinds of dessert, and free reign to eat all you want?

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Surprise me. See? Told ya.

26. Who is most likely to respond to this? Whoever.

27. Who is least likely to respond to this? Whomever.

Wrongness...

This was sent out this afternoon, as a holiday decoration on an email reminder to check our timecards. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... Wow.

The Votes Are In...

...And no one is talking.

I am referring to the Heisman Trophy. The annual award given to the most outstanding college football player of the year. I know I don't generally discuss sports here, but this is different.

Why do I care? 'Cause Timmy! (tm) is in the running. Running, hell. Tim Tebow is in the lead in most polls. Popular opinion, however, doesn't win the trophy. That is gained from votes from the surviving winners of the Heisman from years past, and from a select group of sports writers around the country. Oh, yeah. And one (1) vote from the popular opinion of the fans.

Why does Tebow deserve to win? How about being the first player in NCAA history to score 20 passing touchdowns AND 20 rushing touchdowns in one season? No quarterback has ever run for that many TD's. Most running backs don't. That's 5 more than his closest competitor, running back Darren McFadden, from Arkansas. On 110 fewer carries. Some would discount most of his touchdowns as "short runs", 5 yards or less. This is ridiculous. Ever hear of end zone defense??

He played half the season with a shoulder injury. Just imagine his stats if he'd been healthy! He made 30 plays during the UF-FSU game with a broken hand.

The SEC has, arguably, the toughest schedule of any conference. Arkansas is in the SEC as well. The Gators and the Razorbacks played six common teams. In those games, McFadden scored a total of 7 touchdowns. Tebow scored 25.

Then there is the age factor. No sophomore has ever won. Tebow has a chance to win it next year, when he's a junior. Who knows what could happen next year? This year is what counts. Right now. The trophy is supposed to be awarded to the best player in the nation. Not the best player who happens to be a senior or junior. He should get more kudos for achieving so much so young, not more flack.

Moreover, the young man is genuinely a nice guy. Not the brightest lightbulb in the box, maybe, but his character can not be argued. How does he spend his free time? Hitting the clubs with the other players? No. He visits local hospitals and sits with the sick kids. Really.

Oh, well. We'll see what happens in NYC on Saturday night, at the Downtown Athletic Club. The BCS bowl system is a sham. Let's hope the Heisman isn't.

Mmmmm.... Spicy Lambmeatspamballs!

So... After the local SCA meeting, a group of us went to dinner, as per usual. This is not really the interesting part. Okay, the company was nice and the conversations extremely varied, as usual, but that's the usual. The unusual came when we departed and I had to run to the grocery next door to grab some cat food.

I only had one item, so, naturally, jumped into the express lane. Yes, I did the obligatory Lifegame: Count the items the guy in front of you has to make sure it's under 10. "That rat-bastard has 11 items! Call the grocer police!"

Okay, time out! What the hell is a lifegame? It is one of those little games you play with yourself in real life. Things like counting the items of the person in front of you in the express lane. Walking into a movie theater and scanning the audience to pick out the group that you know is going to annoy you all throughout the show... We all have them. We may not realize we have them, but we have them.

An any rate, I was countin', and that's where I was brought up a bit short. He was purchasing a tube of wasabi paste, two packs of lamb chops, a bag of frozen, pre-cooked meatballs, a package of parmesian encrusted croutons, and a can of spam. Uh.....? The first lifegame disappeared in a cloud of WTF. It was replaced, suddenly with a new game: What the hell is this guy cooking??

Typically, the folks in the express lane are purchasing missing, last minute items for meals, or enough food to make only one meal. Following this logic, this gentleman was creating a gastronomic nightmare! I shudder at the mere thought of the mixture... Even the true carnivore in me hesitates at that purposed dish.

So, that observation offers up a couple of challenges for you gentle readers. One, is a new lifegame for you - "What's for dinner?" Next time you're in line at the grocer, take a gander at the choices of the shopper in front of you, and try to figure out what they're making. Your second challenge is figure out what lifegames do you play? Come on! You know you can name at least one! So, tell me. What are your lifegames?