and Mary Ann
Okay, so the Prof didn't go over so well. Not too many responses. Maybe this line grows a bit wearisome? C'mon, just one more! Can't leave out good ole Mary Ann, can we?
Mary Ann did all the cooking, cleaning, washing, etc., on the island. She was the wholesome, girl next door. The "everygirl" qualities that men look for. The girl you bring home to meet mom.
What are your "girl next door" qualities that you look for in a mate? (Okay, for some/most of you, it'll be "guy next door". Work with me, people!) What traits do you find most appealing? What do want in a partner? What's the perfect gal/guy in your life like? Okay, you can give the spouse pleasing answer and say "your spouse" (talkin' to you, Marius...), but tell me why.
This is a fair question (I mean you, D). No limits. No quals to the question. Let 'er rip!
Mary Ann did all the cooking, cleaning, washing, etc., on the island. She was the wholesome, girl next door. The "everygirl" qualities that men look for. The girl you bring home to meet mom.
What are your "girl next door" qualities that you look for in a mate? (Okay, for some/most of you, it'll be "guy next door". Work with me, people!) What traits do you find most appealing? What do want in a partner? What's the perfect gal/guy in your life like? Okay, you can give the spouse pleasing answer and say "your spouse" (talkin' to you, Marius...), but tell me why.
This is a fair question (I mean you, D). No limits. No quals to the question. Let 'er rip!
posted by Turtle at 11:05 PM
5 Comments:
What traits do I look for? You mean other than the million bucks in the bank???? Just kidding!
He must be smart enough for intelligent conversation on a myriad of subjects, and smart enough to know more than I do in some areas so we can each have our "area of specialization". He must possess that rare quality called "Common Sense" which allows one to do laundry without ruining it, cook meals, keep gas in the car, etc. He needs to have a sense of humor and be willing to be completely childish with me when the mood strikes. He must love animals and be willing to live surrounded by animals who are "family", not "pets"... and take me to the zoo on a regular basis and tolerate my charitable gifts to a variety of animal/wildlife charities. He needs to be reliable. He needs to be financially secure/responsible. He needs to be physically strong enough to carry his end of the burdens. He needs to be brave enough to face life's challenges, and loyal enough to stand by me when needed. No blind, misplaced loyalty though - if I'm wrong, tell me and help me fix it. He should value traditional things - kids, family, house with a picket fence in the front yard, cats sleeping with you in your bed and a pavilion and pell in the backyard. ;)
Ok, at first I was going to try to come up with some smart assed answer to this, but the truth is that a few years ago I decided to try and write down what it was I wanted in a mate. And I listed some criteria that seemed ok, but they never really seemed right. The truth is that I don't think there is a perfect woman for me. I am happy with my wife most of the time, and we have a relatively happy home, and she tolerates, and even likes some of the same crazy shit I like, and she doesn't judge me. She loves me because of, or maybe in spite of, who I am, not who she wishes I was. Maybe that's the most important thing in a relationship...putting up with each other's shit. Oh, and the whole not screwing around bit too, I suppose. I don't know. To be perfectly honest, despite my pig-brain occasional wandering eye (hell I work in a college. if I didn't look I'd explode) I'm actually really glad to be out of 'the game'. I'm comfortable with my wife, and there's a lot to be said for that.
Hmmm. As I learn from lo, these many (and recent!) mistakes, I suppose of prime importance would be something in common. With me. (If you think that's a no-brainer, just look at the last 3 years of my life lol.)
Next would be tolerance: of my crazy schedule, of my need for alone time, of my independence, and my (frequently) silly ideas. Oh, and he has to have the same, and bonus points if they neatly coincide. Reasonable intelligence levels (but it's okay if he's not quite as smart as me, as long as he realizes it and doesn't get attitude about it), common sense, positive self-esteem, and a creative soul that manifests itself in at least one way. The ability to just accept some things (i.e. not argue everything just to debate), a sense of humor that operates on several levels, and a smile that goes all the way to his eyes.
I don't know, someone to clean the dishes when I cook is a biggie, and sharing the rest of the chores without arguing or turning me into a nag (Friday is trash day. How hard is that to remember?) is a blessing I would treasure. I HATE nagging.
This man is not the other half of myself, but a partner Individuals with common interests, beside the inital bloodboiling lust (long turn blood boiling lust is a good thing too, of course laffff)
Enjoys a lively discussion without having to "win". Fights fair, and communicates honestly.
Someone a bit ecentric, a lot of fun, and likes to get lost in the moment with me -- no longer how long that moment is.
As comfortable with a night home as he is with a night out. Ejnoys/puts up with my friends, but doesn't rely on them because he has some of his own.
O, and if he makes coffee for me first thing in the morning, I will worship him as the minor god he is, and clean all his clothes.
Here's what I'm looking for in a partner. (Traits are listed in no particular order).
He would need to:
Be a good and loyal friend (not only to me but to others);
Be intelligent and well-read;
Be his own person with his own interests (not someone that I have to entertain all the time);
Have quiet self-confidence;
Have a warm, friendly, and affectionate personality;
Be witty and have a good sense of humor (which means having the confidence to "play the fool" sometimes and laugh at himself);
Be willing to get out and go places (i.e. movies, concerts, museums, nature parks, SCA events, etc.);
Have plenty of common sense (and be able to keep his head in a crisis);
Have a good work ethic and a decent job;
Be confident enough in himself to not be threatened by a strong, independent woman;
Be able to admit when he's wrong and apologize;
Be willing to "pull his own weight" in chores at home;
Be an equal partner emotionally in the relationship (i.e. no co-dependency please);
Be patient and understanding with me (especially when I'm worrying over a problem);
Be tolerant and compassionate in dealing with others;
Accept my friends ('cause they're an important part of my life);
Be respectful of my parents;
Love music;
Be a Non-smoker;
and
Stand around 5'6" or taller.
Bela
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