A visit from St. Rick...

Marius paid me a surprise visit today. Well, it wasn't quite a surprise, as he'd emailed me yesterday and said he'd be in town. He wanted to buy a few things for his lovely wife at a little shop they'd found here a few years ago, so he came up for a few hours. Even if I was just a side trip (tho' I like to believe that I was the main reason, and the store was secondary...), it was very nice to see him. We had a pleasant lunch (with no pressurized ketchup) and hit the shop together. For some, this might sound like a boring afternoon, but I enjoyed it immensely. Spending time with dear old friends (yeah, I called you old, you phart) is a pasttime that should be enjoyed as often as possible. Thanks, my friend.

A 25' Gorilla, 60 MPH Ketchup, and 2 Felines Influencing the Tides

Firstly, Kong. I'll keep it short and sweet, unlike the movie... It's long. Very long. Peter Jackson has a thing for making movies that tell the whole tale, but take a while to do it... Don't get me wrong; I liked it. I just didn't really love it. It is a good movie, and definitely deserves to be seen on the big screen, but it could have done without a couple of extraneous parts... I won't spoil the movie here, as I really do think it should be seen in the theaters, but go potty before you are seated...

Had a rare opportunity to go out and have a leisurely lunch the other day. I didn't feel like anything fancy, and really do like the french fries at Zaxby's, and they're right around the corner, so off I went. Ordered my meal, a basket of flavorful chicken tenders and the aforementioned fries, and went to the stand to fill my drink, and get some condiments. They have one of those little spouts for ketchup, including the tiny paper cups... My mistake came in thinking that it would be like any other topping dispenser... The red nectar shot out as though it were pressurized. It blew the cup out of my hand and sprayed ole #57 everywhere, including all over me. You could pressure-wash your house with this thing (as long as you don't mind your house being stained a certain shade of Hunts). I just stood there in a minor state of shock. The manager ran around the corner, apologizing profusely, and stated that he'd clean it up. Well, I'm not one for making a mess and leaving it, but this was a case wherein a "K Bomb" went off, leaving buildings intact, but coating all fries within a 50 yard radius, so I gladly stepped back and let him mop it up. The fries were still good, though....

Cats. What the hell are they thinking? What goes on in that tiny little brainpan of theirs? I ask this as I just watched my fleabrained furball, Gray Kitty go from a sound sleep, leaping to his feet as though a bomb went off beside him, flying 10' into the next room, and promptly plopping down and going back to sleep. Now, I know that all cats do this; even Oliver, my sedate, standard model, does it, but usually at a seemingly more relaxed pace. Gray Kitty does it with such a sense of urgency, that I am convinced that there are ulterior motives involved. It is my theory that they are closely linked to the rotation of the earth, and, being a little "slower", he sometimes forgets his duty and has to hightail it to the next spot, to keep our fair world spinning.... Either that, or he's simply a moron. A loveable moron, without a doubt, but a moron. Then again, I work 60-80 hours a week to make sure he has plenty to fill his belly with, and a roof over his head for the 20 hours a day he sleeps.... Who's the moron here?

Shave and a haircut....two freaks!

Been a weird week. I've been busy, as usual. It's finals time, so the shop has been jam-packed with students, studying all day long. The bar has been jam-packed with those who've finished taking finals, or taking a "study break". After this weekend, it should be over, for a couple of weeks. I may not even work at the bar over the break. The Cantina will be closed, but Keith may need me at the main bar. Hope not. The money won't be too good, and I could use a break myself.

The hair was getting a bit shaggy (and no, Marius, I do NOT dye it) so it was time for a trim. I go to the Supercuts just around the corner from my house. It's convenient, fairly cheap, I'm in and out relatively quickly, and they do a decent job. The only problem? They seem to only hire psychos.

On a previous excursion, the stylist proceeded to tell me I had "nice hair". "Thanks." "Very nice hair. Soooo nice! Such nice hair. Ooooooooh! So nice!" Okay, lady, put down the scissors... nice and slow... How about a nice clipper cut? Better yet, how about a sponge cut? No sharp edges on a sponge! That one kind of creeped me out. Haven't seen her there since, not that I'm complaining!

Yesterday's trip wasn't as bizarre, but strange nonetheless. Had a new stylist, one whom just moved up from Ft. Lauderdale (as gathered by her constant chattering). She was a leaner. She leaned on me the whole time. That was a little bit freaky. She talked the whole time, too. At one point she was trying to set up the other stylist with her roommate, as he was a nice guy, had a job and paid all his bills, and was great in bed. Hello??? Is this really appropriate talk in a public shop? Then she asked me, "Do you clean your own neck?" What? No, I have a lady come in once a week! What the hell are you talking about? "What do you mean?" "Do you shave your neck?" No! "No." "You're not very hairy. Some women like that, I guess." "Ummmmm, yeah." Then she fluffed my hair out all over the place. "This is the Colin Farrell look. Very popular right now." No, thanks. I'll stick with the 'I own a comb' look... "No, thanks." At least she did a good job....

Had an idiot at the bar last night. Didn't tip. Three rounds. Three strikes. Then he started hitting on some of the girls from my "fan club". Big mistake. Reason #87 why you don't piss off the bartender. "Psst, Kylene. You don't want anything to do with this schmuck. He's too cheap to even tip...." "Oh, really???" Apparently, she let him have it after I walked off. He then spent the next 10 minutes trying to get my attention, and was promptly ignored. He started talking to me while I was waiting on a customer next to him. Said he "forgot" and tried to hand me a dollar. "Ooooooh, one dollar? Far too little, far too late. This is how I make my living, sphincter boy, and I only get paid on tips. Do you know what my paycheck for the last two weeks was? One cent. (This is true.) One lousy cent. Cheapskates like you are a waste of my time, when I could be serving decent people who appreciate good service. Good day to you, sir! I said good day!!" Man! The replies in my head are always the best! But what I did was continue to ignore him. And his little dollar. And don't try to hit on my friends, you miserable turd, 'cause I'll cut you off at the knees....

Had a break for a couple of hours today, so slipped off to see "King Kong". I was a little disappointed. It wasn't bad, per se, just wasn't...... fantastic. I expected fantastic. Honestly, it was good. I did enjoy it. Just not as much as I'd hoped. The acting is good, the fx wonderful. It just dragged a little too much, and was about 45 minutes too long. (In the event you are unaware, it runs just over 3 hours...) I would recommend seeing it in the theaters, as the effects really do need to be seen on the big screen. But allow me to suggest catching it on a matinee....

Well, it is getting late, and I've a long day tomorrow, as well as a long weekend. Go in early to the shop, and make some supply runs, then head to the bar where it will either be super busy, or dead. I'm thinking, as most of the students are finished with their finals and have headed home, that it will be dead. I've been wrong before, but I'm sticking with dead. Then there's the "net fest" going on at my house. Bunch of people coming over, and bringing their computers. We'll hook them all into the network here, and play games during all waking hours. Then Sunday is a workday at the horse arena, but I don't know if I'll be able to make that one. Then Sunday afternoon is the bar's employee appreciation party. They open up the bar for 4 hours to the employees only, all you can drink, whatever you want. Bad news, that. I'll swing by, and have a beer or two, but don't really want to get too involved with that debacle... They're good people, my fellow bar employees, but they tend to get a little crazy at these things, and the shots flow fast and furious. It's like crack night at the monkey house....

That's it, folks. I'm off to bed. Hope you all are doing well, and the holiday rush hasn't worn you down....

Jo Jo Dancer, your life is calling...

I got home from work this eve (morn?) and discovered that Richard Pryor had passed on this morning. While he has been in poor health the last few years, this still comes as a bit of a surprise. The world has lost something special. Yes, he was vulgar, but he wasn't afraid to make fun of anyone, regardless of who they were, most especially himself. He influenced so many other comedians. He made some great films (Stir Crazy is one of the funniest movies out there). Did you know he co-wrote Blazing Saddles? He was supposed to star in it as well, but the producers thought he was too vulgar, so they hired Cleavon Little. (Well, his favorite word was "MF"...)

Goodbye, motherf&*#$. You will be missed.

Song sung blue....

Okay, the other night, I was sitting at home after work, checking my email, and listening to a CD I finally managed to steal back from my squire, when what to my wondering mind should appear, but IM from the ex, one I hold not so dear. "Miss you so much. I feel awful."

Hmmmmm..... To reply, or not to reply? Do I let loose with both barrels? Or send platitudes? Or simply ignore it? The not so saintly part of me really wanted to tear her a new one. "Awful? Awful?? Sinus trouble? Flu? Soul shredding feelings of guilt and shame?!! Of course you feel awful! Your lies and deceptions completely turned my life upside down; threw me into a state of depression for over a year; made me very gunshy regarding committment; and have seriously damaged my confidence! It's about time you started to feel awful!" That is what I did not send. But to those who think me so saintly, I did not either reply "That's okay. I forgive. All is well." Being the better person than sending the hate, and not so good as to forgive, I chose to ignore her.

The best part? The CD I was listening to was an obscure little musician named Rich Hardesty. He is a combination of Jimmy Buffet, Bob Marley and George Carlin. LIttle bit of folk, little bit of reggae, little bit of creative use of profanity. The song? "Never Wanna F'n See You Again". How ironic is that?

Musings on a dreary Thursday

First and foremost, when I mentioned in my last post that I was looking for a new job, I was kidding. The only job that I know of that pays you to sit at home and do nothing is "lottery winner".

Secondly, enough of the "he's great" stuff. I truly do appreciate my friends and am gladdened by the fact that they hold so high an opinion of me, but it is really not necessary, and only serves to embarrass me. So, quit it.

In other news, the article came out in the local college rag. They, in typical media fashion, misquoted me left and right, and the picture is utterly horrible. I'm not that photogenic to start with, and they took it at 4 in the morn, after busting my behind on a particularly busy night... Oh, well. I figured that no one would see it and it would blow over without a fuss, but I heard no less than 5 times last night how I am "hanging on their fridge..." My fifteen minutes of fame, I guess.

Got my first Christmas card yesterday. It is from my brother and his new wife, and Tiffany, whoever the hell that is. I assume it's her daughter? Haven't a clue. This means but one thing; it's that dreaded time again. I love that my friends and family think enough to send cards, but I feel like such a heel. I am horrible at writing (as my not so frequent posts here can attest) and never send out any of my own. I even go so far as to buy boxes of cards some years, but they never get sent. It's not that I don't think about you all throughout the holidays, but just never get around to getting it done. So, in the event that I don't get around to it this year (and I won't), Happy Holidays!

Hmmm, the holidays. Bah Humbug! I'm not really a Scrooge, but sometimes I just don't get into the holiday spirit. I am usually done with my shopping early, mostly as I hate facing those crowds in the stores, but this year I am particularly slacking. I really haven't done much shopping at all. Perhaps the bug will hit me, and I'll get off my tush and do something about it, but for now, I am just feeling a little blaise about the whole thing. As I said, I am not a Scrooge, and I am not depressed, but I just don't feel like it right now. Is that so wrong? At least I can get stuff for the kids in my life. The adults can hang... Kidding! Love ya! Mean it!

Well, time to get back to the grind. I am just doing my part to keep this thing updated, even though I may not have a lot to say....

Greetings from the lost...

Hello, gang. It's been a while. Glad to see you're still around.

Sorry I haven't written much of late, but when you grab life by the horns, it tends to take off at a full gallop... Actually, I haven't really being doing anything "life-horn-grabbing", but have been exceptionally busy. Busier than a one-armed paper hanger. Busier than a one-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a marble floor. You get the picture.

Worklife. Ah....., work. I'm looking for a new job. One in which the main body of work consists of going out to the mailbox every Thursday to collect my paycheck. Heck, I'd even be willing to get paid bimonthly. And no direct deposit for me! I'll work for that check. As long as said work involves nothing more than said trip to the mailbox.... Wouldn't that been nifty?

Things at the coffee shop are fine, though busier than hell. We've become "established" so have a nice customer base. It is cooler out, so we're selling more. We have a new credit card company, so there's new machines to get used to, and train the staff to use. We now have gift cards, so that's an added bit to learn and train... Three employees just quit. One because he got a preaching gig, and that's what he always wanted to do, so we wish him luck. One because she knew she was about to get canned anyway, for being too stupid to live. Another because she only took this job until another job opened up for her elsewhere. She knew she'd only be working a month, but didn't bother telling anyone... ::Sigh:: To top it all off, the staff has been moaning that they don't see the owners any more, that they're never here. So, my squire, in his infinite wisdom, has scheduled all the managers for 7 day workweeks, to make the managerial presence known. Hey! *I* am not the one they've been moaning about!! I'm here all the time!! Oh, at least they are taking turns being here as well.

Work at the bar should slow down, now that football season is over. It's strange. You look forward to it all year, but once it's here, you can't wait for it to end. FSU weekend was utterly and completely insane. Lots of drunks out. Had to get a little physical with one, but only after he'd punched me in the chest, and tried to do so 2 more times. I had to lock him down and drag him out. I was interviewed for "Insite", one of the local college rags for their "bartender spotlight" article for December. It's catered to the early 20's crowd, so I don't know why they wanted me, but there ya go.

I've been helping out at a horsefarm down in Ocala in my "spare" time. In exchange for helping out (mowing, painting, horsecare, etc) we get to ride the horsies, and use them for SCA equestrian activities. Fun!! And I like horses. They can be like very large dogs, which you can ride. Very intelligent. For an animal.

Turkey day was interesting. I went over to Michael's new house for dinner. He'd fixed a gourmet meal, complete with two turkeys and a ham. I think something had oranges in it (though not to his knowledge), as I started feeling ill, and just got sicker as the day went on. I finally excused myself and went home to bed. I guess I am thankful for not dying...

Christmas is coming up, and I really haven't bought much at all. I am usually done with all my shopping around the end of August, but have been really slacking in that department this year. I did do some "day after Thanksgiving" sales, but didn't get up at oh-dark-thirty, and didn't have to brave the crowds. I discovered something: most of the big stores, that run the big sales, have the same specials online. You can sleep in, shop from home, and in most cases, get free shipping. The only difference is that you have to wait a few days to get your stuff. Very handy little tip from you friendly neighborhood turtleman.

Well, that really is all that has been going on of late. Lots of little things that I missed, interesting events and stories, but I can't think of any right now, so I'm going to have to hit this one with the big "done" stamp. I'll post more regularly. Really. No, really!